How would you handle this situation?

If I were you I wouldn't go back. Why punish yourself like that? She sounds awful and frankly, your relative sounds like a loser for putting up with her constantly insulting you. If you want to see your relative, you could go visit their town and spend a couple of nights in a hotel and visit them on a limited basis. You really don't owe them any excuses or reasons why you won't go stay with them. Just tell them that you think everyone would be more comfortable if you stayed in a hotel. Good luck.